A Few Thoughts…

Its monday morning….   *Yawn*.   Now usually i dont have a problem with monday mornings, if i was able to get some rest over the weekend.  However this weekend past quicker than the blink of the eye.   Saturday i worked most of the day and sunday, yes.. i have to confess.. i didnt do much on Sunday.  Yet, i feel you need at least 2 days of rest after a really busy week.   So today,  is the start of my training and loosing weight.  As i can only enroll at the gym tomorrow, today i will do a few weights and just watch what i eat.  Mondays are usually a very long day for me and by the time i get home, i am usually not in the mood for anything but channel surfing.  Ahh.. and its Grey’s Anatomy tonight.. which is one of my favourite shows.     So as i am sitting here.. driving my desk, my mind is drifting to next week.  Our family is going on a 5 day river canoe trip, and i am really excited about getting away for abit..

I didnt sleep well last night.  My mind was with my best friend.  And i am wondering about my friendship with her.  Wonder why i do all the effort that i do, when it feels like its being looked over.   I dont get a reply to my text messages nor emails.. which is i know due to her girlfriend not wanting  her to email or sms me.   Still i feel she should put her foot down instead of trying to please this woman the whole time in order to avoid confrontation.  I think this woman knows that and is manipulating the situation to please her and get my friend to do what she wants.  Its a really bad situation.   And as i mentioned in previous posts… I really dont like this woman.   I just feel sad about the whole situation and i guess i know that for me to totally move on.. i need to cut this friend out of my life.. completely.  But that thought seems to much for me.  To much to bear not having her in my life.  But then again, i am also not happy being a weekday 8 -5 friend and after that,  i am nothing more.    That doesnt work for me.  I also know that its not necessary to speak to someone every day, but i really needed to talk to her last night.. yet.. she didnt even reply to an sms when i clearly stated that i needed to talk to her.. Which means that what i feel doesnt matter.  as long as her girlfriend is happy..   The whole situation leaves me with so much sadness… as the last 2 years of knowing her.. has been very painfull.   I guess its time to move on.. and focus on things in my life at the moment that is here.  That i can achieve and put my energy in that.. Instead of wasting it on something like this…